Monday, 10 May 2010

Hattie's second blog

I thought that maybe it'd be nice if introduced myself.

I am Hattie. I am 26 and a half. I live in London with my Man and my cat, Dexter. They are my best boys. I like to play Wii. I like singing. My favourite flavour of yoghurt is plain and I sometimes don't wash my hair for 3 days (extra gross considering I'm blonde and its long so more prone to greasy crack addict adhesion to scalp).

Those are the most important things you need to know I guess.

Why did I decide to write a blog? I don't know. I'm not particularly interesting I don't think - at least not in the conventional way. I do however seem to have a somewhat unique view of the world, delighting and marvelling at things others find totally mundane. If you think its interesting spending time wondering how and why the person who discovered how to make white sauce got that idea, then this is probably the blog for you.

Also, people seem to find me funny. Not in the 'I have such a staggering intellect and my funny comments are shot through with such wit that I am fucking intimidating and should probably write for Frasier' funny, but a 'let's all point and laugh at her' funny. I seem to be funny without the slightest bit of effort - I am going about minding my own business and commenting on the world the way I see it and people are laughing. Out of nervousness, out of pity, who knows? Is it the inflection in my voice or my seeming inability to define my dipthongs where appropriate and adding them in where not? Or the mere subject matter I discuss with wanton abandon? (yes, I said wanton. I also love wontons). But it seems that being a certifiable lunatic is enough to garner a titter or guffaw nearly everywhere I go.

My man often laughs at me because I am so lame, yet I seem to bring a certain degree of joy to his life. That's an understatement; I am so inherently awesome that his life was but a mere husk of deprivation and misery until I came along. Anyway, I'll address my self-loathing narcissistic complex later. My point is that if he can find me so entertaining, perhaps there are other weirdos out there who will enjoy my worldview just as much, if not more!

So, without further ado, (actually rather a lot of to do as I am as yet unsure as to what my first story will be) please indulge your childish innernesses and enjoy my sometimes banal, sometimes crass but always utterly pointless tales of Hattie's Weird and Wonderful World.


No comments:

Post a Comment