Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Hattie and the fort: part 3 - The Results

I must apologise for my lateness in publishing these very important results. I have been moving house and, even though I can hear you quite rightly cry 'Forts are more important than having a roof over your head you lazy bitch!', unfortunately the move has taken up a lot of my time and energy. I do apologise, and normal service will resume when I have recovered from this most traumatising ordeal (I smell a different blog post!)

So here are the results as judged by the official board of Fort Architecture and Recreational Tent Structures.

In 3rd place we have Elly King with her superb entry which cleverly uses a strategically positioned crack in the cushions, allowing the fort to be lit with natural light from a nearby window. Inspired.

In 2nd place we have... Joe Chamberlin with his quite frankly astonishing effort which utilises a fan as a climate control device to ensure his fort is always at a balmy 72 degrees. Joe works in interior design, which is evident through his colour coordinated fort drape. His flare for structural engineering is also gestured to with his use of a digeridoo to support the fort's asymmetric roof.

He also deserves a special mention for his Fort attire - note the American Football helmet, chef's trousers and baseball bat. Suitable weaponry is a must have in a Fort, and the selection of a baseball bat alongside full American Football body armour and shoulder pads trumps my spatula hands down.

However, there can only be one winner, and this was a very hard decision. But (drum roll please)....

The winners are Team Mega-Alan: Esther Barratt and Peter Smith with their expertly designed multiple functioning Fort! Not only did their photographs comply with all official contest rules, but they clearly demonstrated the many different activities one can indulge in in a Fort.

Note the clean lines, solid structure and extra warm blanket as they play Wii.

Watching television is easy, comfortable and most importantly awesome in this spacious viewing den. Depth is also a very important variable concerning the enjoyment of a Fort - and their depth is just right.

Eating and drinking is no problem in this solid structure, with a secure roof and expertly positioned cushions for added safety. These action shots show but a few of the myriad ways a Fort can be the source of all fun and righteousness!

So there we have it. Peter and Esther, I salute you. Prize, I hear you say? Well, winning alone should be prize enough, you greedy fucks.

However I might buy you coffee and cake when I next see you :) all hail Team Mega-Alan, Fort builders Extraordinaires!

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